The Endless Orgy (Roi Kunzer #2)

The Endless Orgy, by Richard E. Geis 

No month stated, 1968 Brandon House Books 

I picked up this old sleaze paperback over a decade ago and forgot all about it until I found my three-year old reading it the other day. Just kidding; it was in a box with a bunch of other books I forgot I had. (Turns out I also have a copy of the Gutenberg Bible!) Anyway, all “kidding” aside, The Endless Orgy was the second and final paperback to feature Roi Kunzer, advanced “Lover” from the year 2069 who finds himself transported back in time to 1970, where he tangles with a bunch of evil spies and lots of eager women (plus, ahem, an eager dude in one unforgettable part). 

Judging from this volume, the series seems to be of a piece (so to speak) with the spoofy spy satires of the day, a la The Man From Orgy, The Man From Tomcat, and etc, only “slightly” more serious. Actually, this book is sort of The Mind Brothers meets The Man From Planet X meets After The Good War. The Mind Brothers due to the whole “future man fighting spies in the present” setup, and The Man From Planet X because hero Roi Kunzer is not only a humorless superstud but can also control the size of his “member” (he keeps it “at a normal four” when flaccid, usually “at a six” when pleasuring the average woman, and can go way bigger when needed; “a ten” isn’t even max!). And finally After The Good War due to the first-person narration, in which Roi drops a host of lingo and phrases from his future, sex-focused era. 

Richard E. Geis seems like an interesting dude. Supposedly the author of over a hundred sleaze novels, it appears he was even jailed in the early ‘60s for publishing filth. He was also a sci-fi geek and published various fanzines or somesuch. The Roi Kunzer books seem to have been his attempt to meld his two main topics: sleaze and sci-fi. The Endless Orgy clearly sets up a sequel in the end, but so far as I know one was never published. Geis passed away in 2012 and I belive I might have some other books by him. Judging from this book his writing is pretty good, pretty much the same caliber as book producer Lyle Kenyon Engel’s stable. Heck, it’s possible the Roi Kunzer books even inspired The Man From Planet X; we know for example that Engel came up with the Operation Hang Ten books after being inspired by a surfing-meets-sleaze papberback George Snyder wrote. 

I don’t have the first volume, The Sex Machine, which Brandon published the year before this one. Presumably in that one Roi was transported back to the late 1960s and stirred up lots of controversy with his “Pleasure First Principle,” which was at odds with the “Puritan” mindset of the 20th Century. Now he lives in a large house in Tahiti, pleasuring his four main wives – there’s Suzy Cum-Cum (seventeen but looking “even younger”), Kinky Kinkaid, Honi Brest, and Shirley Likit. Surprisingly none of them take a big role in this particular novel; we meet Roi as he’s boffing Suzy, but after this the wives are mostly there just to get kidnapped and, uh, forced to “try out” a pseudo-Roi the villains attempt to create. Roi of course saves them from captivity, but otherwise there’s no main female companion for him; in true stroke book fashion, he instead sleeps with about a gazillion other chicks instead of just sticking to one, the poor bastard. 

The previous book featured not only Roi journeying back in time, but also another woman from his era: Sharyn, who now goes as Dr. Mai Be, evil ruler of SNARF, an organization bent on world domination. We learn in brief backstory here that Mai Be became who she now is because she was “perverted” by the 20th Century; she was actually sent back to 1940, and thus has been here a few decades, long enough for the mindset of our “Puritan” era to subvert her free-lovin’ 21st Century mind. Oh and last time Roi shot her tits off. This bizarre and horrific act is so casually relayed to us by Roi that it must be some in-jokery on Geis’s part. But apparently she had some mini-atomic bomb or something “buried under her massive breasts” and Roi shot ‘em off to save the day. However Mai Be seems to have survived this, still ruling SNARF, however she doesn’t appear in this book. 

The curious thing about Roi Kunzer is that he’s pretty lame as a superhero. We’re to understand he has a perfect physique and all, but he’s so naïve to the violence of the 20th Century that he comes off as buffoonish. At least the Man From Planet X was able to use his alien superstrength to make up for his buffoonery. For example, Roi is fooled in the first few pages of the book; a TV crew comes to interview him, but they turn out to be SNARF in disguise and Roi’s drugged. When he wakes up, he’s on a yacht somewhere in the Pacific and a pair of sadistic doctors are making molds of his body. It gets real weird real quick when they get to the expected “plaster caster” mold; Roi’s asked to extend to his max, and one of the doctors keeps looking at the massive whang with lustful eyes. Roi gets out of this predicament in the expected fashion: offering to have sex with the gay doctor. When the guy lets Roi loose, expecting some hot action, Roi doesn’t punch him and run away. No, he gave this man “his word” that he’d screw him, and screw him he does! 

One wonders if Geis had a “include something gay” mandate from the publisher, so as to cover all the possible readership bases. But probably not, as otherwise the book is marketed as a straight sleaze paperback. Also, the act is kept for the most part off page – we’re informed Roi finds it “unpleasant,” and also he tells us that though he sees nothing wrong with homosexuality, given his 21st Cenutry mindset, he personally has not been “trained” for it. I forgot to mention. So like in Roi’s future, special young men are chosen after puberty to become “Lovers,” trained in the arts of sex – and also given the ability to control their dicks. This is due to like a regulator valve implanted in the little toe of their left foot, which allows them to control blood flow…not to mention the weird quirk that, given this augmentation, Roi can’t lift said toe. As a Lover, Roi is tuned in to the frequency of a woman’s sexual needs; if she’s horny, he is “obligated” to give her the sex she needs. But if he goes more than three days without sex, “hormone sickness” will plague him – to the point of actual death, if he doesn’t have sex in a week. 

So that’s the hero of the series. Well anyway he gets away -- after being true to his word with the doctor – and jumps off the yacht. But he’s only just learned to swim! Honestly you kind of get the idea Geis is spoofing the typical spy hero type. The bad guys shoot at him but Roi goes under, swims away, and is found by a native fishing boat. Sure enough a hot teen girl’s on it, one Roi’s “seen around” the islands, and the two engage in some shenanigans. But while there’s a lot of screwing in The Endless Orgy, it’s not very explicit, nor exploitative of the women’s bodies, due to the “tech talk” Roi employs throughout: “…her body was of the B-28-rz4 type,” and etc. 

Back home, Roi learns that his wives have been taken, and his secretary seems to have been part of the plot. His neighbor happens to be a plastic surgeon, and the dude offers to give Roi a new face and phsyique which will last for one month; a “special technique” he’s devised. Oh and this guy’s brother, Redd, just happens to have committed suicide recently, though no one but the surgeon knows this (something about a criminal background Redd was trying to escape)…and hey, Redd was about the same height and build as Roi, if only a little heavier. So Roi will become “Redd,” with a new face and excess fat on him, so he can track down his wives incognito. There is of course the last test to ensure he really passes as Redd – the real Redd’s wife comes in, thinks Roi is her husband, and instantly takes off her clothes. This sex scene is for some reason played off like something out of an X-rated Jerry Lewis film, with the two screwing on the hospital gurney, which becomes a “sexmobile” (per the flabbergasted plastic surgeon), rolling out of the surgery room and out into the yard, powered by their energetic coupling. 

It’s clear though that it’s not to be taken seriously. Roi traces the duplicitous secretary to LA, where of course they have sex – a recurring bit is Roi determining the capacity of his women, always starting at a “basic five” before expanding up, per the girl’s wishes. Curiously none of these women seem taken aback that this guy “Redd” can willingingly expand his dick…even more humorous because Roi’s supposed to be “dead,” and by doing this he’s giving away who “Redd” really is. As a further testament to the goofy nature of the book, the lady wants Redd to prove he’s really a criminal, and to do so he robs a bank. And it happens like in one chapter, with Roi pulling the job through guille and quick planning. 

This taken care of, “Redd” is now a part of SNARF. Off they go to a remote island, where he’s given the job of security detail. This part goes on a while and is annoying. Also here Redd suffers from serious hormone sickness, near death from lack of tail…he stumbles to the nearest whorehouse and replenishes himself. Good grief! Eventually Roi’s wives are brought in, as well as a dude with his face in bandages, and gradually the plot emerges that a pseudo-Roi Kunzer is being developed by SNARF. There’s also lots of internal rivalry among the bad guys, like a revolt against the leader, a “95% pure lesbian” named Liz (yes…Liz the Lez, though to his credit Geis doesn’t actually write this). 

There’s no attempt at suspense of anything; at one point Roi is uncovered by the newly-arrived boss, an Amazonian blonde named Venus Du Mont. Having tasked “Redd” with killing off Roi’s wives, Venus secretly had an underling follow Roi and the women into the jungle…and watch as he let them go. So Venus pulls out a gun and shoots Roi, point blank. And he dies! But as he’s dying a blue light envelopes him…it is the Great Mother Computer, the tech deity of his future world, coming to save him – and to send him several minutes back in time, so he can do all this over and not get killed! I mean talk about deus ex machina. 

Roi does things right this time, pretending to strangle his wives while whispering to them that they’re being watched. For this “successful” job, Redd is rewarded – oh and meanwhile SNARF has learned that Redd, ie the real one, was wanted for a bunch of rape-murders. This curious plot development goes nowhere, but it does sit well with the SNARF bosses, who prefer to have deviants in their employ! But really the novel is filled with too much of Roi standing around, wondering what the plot is against him…as mentoined it turns out to have the fake Roi venture to a new African kingdom, one ruled by a “hotpants” queen who is notorious for her sexual escapades. The fake Roi is to win her over with his superior screwing, so SNARF can take control of the precious mineral which is unique to this African country. 

Unfortunately for the fake Roi, he’s been given disinfo: a humorous bit has Roi’s wives ordered by Eve Du Mont to teach the fake Roi how the real Roi screws…and the girls give him all kinds of wrong tips, like saying that women enjoy their nipples being chewed on and whatnot. But really it just kind of goes on and on, and by the time we’re in the final quarter of the novel we’re ready for it to end. It culminates with the two Rois engaging in a gladiator match, with the real Roi of course triumphant, though curiously he never returns to his normal form by novel’s end. Throughout the book he’s rather portly, we’re to understand, which makes it kind of humorous that women are still flocking to him chapter after chapter – oh, and that’s a “sleaze novel rule” Geis doesn’t ignore. There’s a sex scene every chapter. 

Geis clearly had another adventure in store – the book ends with Roi picking up the paper and reading about an anti-sex movement spearheaded by a young woman, and figures it is inevitable the two will meet. However no further novel was forthcoming, so one can only conclude that readers in 1968 felt the same way about The Endless Orgy as I did.