The Mafia’s Virgin Daughter

The Mafia’s Virgin Daughter, by David Morgan

January, 1973  Dell Books

I picked up this paperback several years ago, under the impression it was a crime novel. However it turns out to be yet another of those sex-comedies Dell published in the early ‘70s, a la Black Magic, Making U-Hoo, and Sexual Strike Force. I should’ve figured this out earlier, given that it was a Dell PBO with the typical photo cover of those sleaze paperbacks. Also the title should’ve been a giveaway. And as it turns out The Mafia’s Virgin Daughter is of a piece (so to speak) with those other Dell sleaze paperbacks – it’s a mostly unfunny comedy with an adult overlay. It’s also a bit more explicit than some of those other Dell PBOs, many of which were pretty tame. It’s not, however, as explicit (or as good) as Send Photos/State Preferences. 

Author David Morgan dedicates The Mafia’s Virgin Daughter to George Wolk…an author who, under the pseudonym “Barney Parris,” wrote another of these Dell sleaze PBOs: Michelle, My Belle (as well as a followup, which I have but haven’t read). The book is copyright David Morgan, so I’m going to assume he is or was a real person. But then you can’t always rely on the copyright giving you the author’s real name. Anyway, Morgan’s novel is similar to Wolk’s in that it’s a light comedy with occasional hardcore sex. It’s also squarely set in the early ‘70s, with lots of groovy topical details. This extends to the sexual material as well; we learn that one of the women here proudly sports a ”thick bush.” Can’t get much more “1970s” than that! 

One thing this one has in common with Send Photos/State Preferences is that it’s told in first-person. Narrator Norman Robinson is apparently “young,” but we never get a good idea how young. He doesn’t seem to be a teenager like Michelle in Michelle, My Belle, as he has his own apartment in Manhattan. So I’m going to assume he must be in his early 20s. His age is often referenced in that the neighbor he’s screwing, sexy Malinda, is “much older” than him…yet later Norman tells us he assumes Malinda must be in her mid-30s. Otherwise all we learn of Norman is that he’s tall, dark, and handsome (by his own admission), and also must have a big dick. The latter Malinda particularly takes to. As with the other novels in this unofficial line, everything revolves around sex, and we meet Norman while he’s in bed with Malinda. But then someone starts banging on her door, even though it’s three in the morning. Norman imagines a bear out there, given the noise. Malinda shoos off the man – casually informing Norman that it’s just Ralph, her boyfriend – and then she and Norman get into some screwin’. 

I assume there must’ve been some editorial mandate that sex needed to happen frequently in these books. For throughout the novel, Norman will imagine having sex, in full page-filling explicit detail, when he isn’t engaging in the real thing. There’s also flashback boinkery, as we’re told of how Norman and Malinda first got down to it; they’d see each other periodically on the elevator, and Norman would conspire to be there at the same time every day to catch the lift with the sexy older chick. This ultimately led to Malinda inviting him into her pad for a drink, which as expected led to the two of them taking a shower to “cool off,” complete with thorough detail of Norman soaping up that “thick bush.” From there the two took up a totally ‘70s casual sex thing, but now trouble is in paradise because Norman has learned that Malinda actually has a boyfriend…and also as the novel progresses Norman will become convinced that the boyfriend, Ralph, is in the Mafia. 

The goofy farce nature dominates, as soon enough Malinda’s calling Norman over for dinner at her place…which Ralph will also be attending. She wants to introduce the two, and she also wants to set Norman up with Ralph’s 18 year-old daughter Lily. The titular “Mafia’s virgin daughter,” Lily turns out to be a frosty-natured beauty with “pointy breasts” (as opposed to Malinda’s, which are apparently gobsmacking huge). There’s a lot of bumbling “comedy” here, as the dinner turns into a farce, with Norman terrified of Ralph due to Norman’s suspicion the Italian man is in the Mafia. Of course all takes place in the days before one would be made to feel ashamed of racial profiling; when Norman goes to his cop cousin with his suspicions, he’s given microphones to stash around Ralph’s office to monitor his calls! 

But I’m getting ahead of myself. After dinner Norman is encouraged to take Lily out. She continues to be frosty, treating him imperiously; it’s her certainty that Norman is an “escort” hired by her father. More goofy comedy ensues when they go to a movie that happens to be a Mafia picture. But Norman’s had enough, and at the end of the date basically tells Lily to go to hell. This of course serves to make her all hot and horny for our narrator; she gives him a kiss and tells him she loves him. Surprisingly there’s no boinkery, but we do get an XXX fantasy in which Norman does Malinda…who appears to be the real object of his desire throughout the novel. Due to his daughter’s sudden fondness for Norman, Ralph hooks him up with a job…more banality ensues as Norman keeps going into the office and wondering what to do, given that Ralph’s in Chicago “on business.” So Norman occupies himself by staring at the massive boobs of Ralph’s secretary; one must assume they’re even bigger than Malinda’s. 

At 222 pages, The Mafia’s Virgin Daughter is much too long, as Morgan has to resort to page-filling throughout. Most egregious is a sequence in which Norman sneaks into Ralph’s office one night to plant microphones, but ends up getting caught by the cops. He’s arrested and taken downtown to be booked. I did get a chuckle out of him telling the cops his name was “John Doe,” but other than that the entire sequence was a time waster. It’s really just a bunch of bumbling escapades that make up the plot, such as it is, with Norman making one fumble after another while trying to get evidence that Ralph’s in the Mafia. But at least things pick up, so to speak, when he goes back to his place for some long-delayed shenanigans with Malinda: 

Oh yeah, I should mention here that Malinda has this quirk in which she ensures that she, uh, gets every last drop. I mean: 

Malinda does the same thing in their initial sex scene. Either David Morgan thinks this is hot, or our narrator Norman is just naïve – because you’ve gotta suspect when a woman is trying to get “every last drop” she might have some ulterior motives (ie, Norman Junior). But anyway, as these excerpts demonstrate, The Mafia’s Virgin Daughter is indeed pretty explicit, more so than the average novel in this unofficial Dell line. And speaking of the titular virgin, Lily, she doesn’t stay one for long. Actually, she isn’t even a virgin at all, she just pretends to be a virginal princess for her overbearing father. Norman ends up giving it to her when the entire group absconds to Ralph’s upstate cabin for a vacation:

Even the finale follows through with the lame comedy setup. Norman never does find out whether Ralph’s really Mafia…and the novel ends on a joke, but really it could’ve been the sleaziest sequence yet, as both Malinda and Lily separately call Norman and tell him they’re heading up to his apartment for some good lovin’. But Robinson ends the novel here on the joke, with Norman again afraid he’s about to get in serious troube if Ralph finds out. I know I reviewed a novel on here some years ago that had a similar ending, but I can’t recall the title. 

All of which is to say The Mafia’s Virgin Daughter was pretty lame, only saved by the occasional super-explict (and super-‘70s) sex scenes.