Men’s Adventure Quarterly #6

Men's Adventure Quarterly #6, edited by Robert Deis, Bill Cunningham, and Paul Bishop

October, 2022  Subtropic Productions

Every issue of Men’s Adventure Quarterly has been great, but this sixth volume was really up my alley. It’s devoted to heist yarns, and some years ago I personally was on a hunt for men’s magazine heist stories. In fact, a few of the stories I hunted for but never acquired are actually collected here. So once again Bob Deis, Bill Cunningham, and guest editor Paul Bishop have done everyone a great service by bringing these long-lost tales back into print. 

Even better, many of the stories here are from the ‘70s, which to me was the decade that crime fiction was at its best. This also means that the stories here are slightly more risque than the men’s adventure stories of the decades before. It also means the stories are a little shorter; even the “Book Bonuses” collected here are shorter than those from the ‘50s and early to mid ‘60s. All told though, the editors have done a swell job of putting together a great “snatch” (lame pun alert) of men’s mag heist stories. In fact it would be an even sweller idea if they did another heist theme in a future MAQ. 

A cool thing about the heist stories in the men’s adventure magazines is that they usually lack the fat of a longer novel in the genre. While you still get the planning of the heist and the carrying out of it, the timeline is much accelerated. Also, there’s more than likely going to be a full-breasted babe in various stages of undress (perhaps even more than one such babe) at some point in the story. The protagonists, while criminals, are generally the same square-jawed “Yanks” (as they were always referred to in the original mags) that would feature in the WWII stories the men’s mags were more known for. That said, many of the protagonists are vets; there seems to have been a requirement from the editorial department that the heroes be combat veterans. 

As usual we get nice intros from each editor, with overviews of favorite heist movies and novels. There’s a lot of Bill Cunningham’s usual great art direction here, with movie posters and stills augmenting the text. There’s also a great beefcake section on Angie Dickinson. Completely random TMI moment: I recall seeing a glimpe of Ms. Dickinson in the 1980 movie Dressed To Kill, shortly after it came out and was on HBO or something – my parents had one of those boxes on the TV set that would get HBO or “The Superstation” (aka TBS). I was only six or seven at the time, but man, what I saw was Ms. Dickinson in the shower – I don’t even think she was nude – and we’ll just say I was, uh, moved by the sight. To this day I’ve still never seen Dressed To Kill, but I’ll always remember it for that. 

Well anyway, on with the show. Things start off swimmingly with “The Flying Bank Looters,” by Tom Christopher and from the October 1967 Man’s World. In one of his typically informative intros, Bob Deis notes that “Tom Christopher” was really author Thomas Chastain…and it occurred to me I’ve never read one of the guy’s novels before. Oh and one thing I had to laugh about – the slugline on the splashpage (with art by my favorite of them all, Earl Norem) says that the story features a “whirlpool of greed and laughter” (emphasis mine)! I’m assuming that’s supposed to be “slaughter,” and I’m curious if that’s how it appears in the original Man’s World printing. 

Chastain’s story is a fast-moving piece of crime fiction that dwells a little more on the setup than the other stories collected here. It concerns a dude named Frank Cage, hiding down in Colombia as a ranch hand after some criminal business in the States. He concocts a scheme to heist the “Jetbanco” venture, which is a sort of flying bank for the remote ranches in the area. Cage’s American girlfriend, with her “thrusting breasts,” also shows up for some men’s mag-patented off-page lovin’. All told a fun story that sets the tone for the rest of the magazine, complete with the mandatory “complications ensue” finale. 

Next up is a novella that’s more in-line with the typical men’s mag story in that it’s a long one that takes place during World War II: “G.I. Stick-Up Mob That Heisted $33 Million In Nazi Gold,” by Eugene Joseph and from the November 1967 Male. This is the longest story here, and somewhat reminded me of Mario Puzo’s men’s mag story that became a novel, Six Graves To Munich, in that the framing story takes place after the war, with a long flashback to the war itself. It’s not revenge that centers the tale here, but hero Steve Brock’s quest to collect the titular Nazi gold he hid near the Elbe in January of 1945. 

This one really does read like the typical men’s mag war yarn, with Brock leading his tank squadron against the Germans in various pitched battles. The author works in the mandatory full-breasted babe, in this case a hotstuff “fraulein” who engages Brock in a “brutal bout of love” right on some rubble! I mean the poor girl’s back must’ve hurt like hell! This girl is the one who informs Brock of a stash of gold the Nazis have plundered, and Brock talks his men into routing the Germans and stealing it – even though they’ll have to go up against the Russians, too. 

The “1946” story finds Brock with yet another hotstuff German babe, this one a nurse, as he tries to figure out who among his men is trying to kill him. It’s more on the suspense angle here, but the revelation of who was the double-crosser wasn’t as shocking as the author likely intended. A curious note about this tale is that the yank hero marries the native gal at the end of the story; as I noted ten years ago in my review of Women With Guns, in the majority of the men’s mag stories the yank heroes would bang foreign gals with aplomb, but would generally go back home and marry an American girl in the end. 

“Stop California’s Iron Shark Heist Commandos” is pretty much everything I was looking for in this volume of Men’s Adventure Quarterly. It’s by yet another famous author in disguise: Martin Cruz Smith, credited as Tom Irish in the December 1967 issue of For Men Only. Oh, and that’s another note – all the stories collected in this issue are from the “Diamond Line” of men’s adventure magazines, meaning that the quality of the writing is always good. Cruz Smith proves that here, in a fast-moving tale in which a group of heisters take on a floating casino in Baja. 

Smith also works in a bit of a cold war angle in that the hero of the tale is an undercover agent who infiltrates a specially-selected gang of heisters. After some training they carry out the heist, outfitted in scuba suits and hoisting Stoner subguns. There’s a bit more action in this one but truth be told, I found the writing to be harried, as if Smith had to jettison chunks of plot due to limitations on the word count. The finale is especially rushed, with various reveals and turnarounds happening so quickly that they don’t really resonate. 

Don Honig, one of the few men’s adventure magazine authors still with us today, shows up in another MAQ with “Band Of Misfits,” from the January 1970 Action For Men. I really appreciated Bob’s intro for this, as in it Don Honig himself shares the background on the story, which he came up with while on vacation. This yarn is a bit more smallscale than the previous ones, seeing a somewhat smalltime heister planning to hit a casino in Mexico. But then he runs into a hotstuff blonde divorcee with “huge, soft breasts,” and just as our hero predicts the female presence only serves to “louse up” the heist. Then he runs into a fellow ex-con, which louses things up even more. Overall an enterntaining, fast-moving piece. 

Next up is a story I reviewed here back in 2015, and thanks to Bob for mentioning my review in his intro: “The Great Sierra Mob Heist,” by C.K. Winston and from the December 1971 Male. Now, do not go back and read my review, unless that is you’ve already read the story and know everything that happens in it. Back when I wrote that review, I had no idea that one day Bob Deis and cohorts would be bringing these men’s adventure stories back into print. But I read the story again in this issue of MAQ, and I have to say I really enjoyed it. It was my favorite story in the issue, in fact. I also appreciated Bob’s intro, with more background from Don Honig on who exactly C.K. Winston was. 

One thing I noticed in my second reading of “The Great Sierra Mob Heist” was the increased focus on sleaze; “hero” Asherman gets it on with both the nubile babes who are involved in the heist, and author Winston heightens the sleazy vibe of the remote gambling resort with a part where a couple have sex in a sauna – an act of cheap showiness that prudish Asherman doesn’t think much of. There are also minor sleazy details like Asherman putting his hand down the “hot pants” of one of his conquests, and the girl “widen[s] her stance to accommodate him.”  There’s also more violence, like the opening bit of Asherman brutally and gorily killing off an ex-con who recognizes him; an interesting parallel to an event in Honig’s “Band Of Misfits.”  

“The G.I. Wild Bunch” is by prolific men’s mag author Grant Freeling and from the March 1975 Male. This one detours from the heist vibe of the other stories in that it’s more about a guy trying to clear his name. There’s a “Yankee Gang” hitting places in early ‘70s West Germany, and it appears to be a group of American G.I.s behind it. Our hero, Landers, is a ‘Nam vet with a shady past who is set up by the heist mob, falling for a “fraulein” honey trap who steals his ID. This bit contains the phenomenal line: “[Landers] realized, to his astonishment, that the large, round, but thrustingly firm breasts beneath her dress were not supported by a bra. The unseen nipples hardened instantly…” Of course the lovin’ happens off-page, but still, great line. Otherwise this one’s like The Fugitive, with Landers evading the military police while tracking down the heisters who framed him. 

More G.I.s-turned-heisters hijinks ensue with “G.I. ‘Hayseeds’ Who Pulled A $2 Million Gold Heist,” by Frank Porter as told to Michael Cullen and from the July 1975 Male. This one rides on the rednecksploitation vibe of the mid-‘70s, with a “hayseed” narrator telling us all the misadventures he and his two buddies endured while trying to hijack some counterfeit coins up in Canada. An interesting note about this one is that it’s the only story here without a female presence. Instead, things play out more on a dark comedy nature with the narrator telling us how one thing after another goes wrong in the heist, as it turns out the coins belonged to the Mafia. The “G.I.” nature isn’t much played up in the actual story, and is just more indication that these men’s mags tried to cater to a readership likely made up of ex-G.I.s. 

The final yarn is even more oddball in its riding of current trends: “Arizona’s Incredible ‘Kung Fu’ Vengeance Heisters,” by Grant Freeling and from the November 1973 Male. This is another longish yarn, and also the second story in this MAQ by Freeling, who has always been one of my favorite men’s mag authors. Here Freeling combines three setups: a heist, revenge, and kung-fu. He also gets the sleaze in, with the story opening with hero Hal Brice checking out a “voluptuous” blonde. Of course, within a few paragraphs he’ll be in bed with her, this being a men’s mag story. 

In his intro Bob Deis notes how Bruce Lee’s image was ripped off for the story’s splashpage, but I couldn’t help but notice the similarity of the hero’s name, as well: I mean, Hal Brice. He too is a former G.I., and in quickly rendered backstory we learn how his father was rendered destitute by an evil land baron. This guy had teenaged Brice beaten up, after which our hero went to ‘Nam – where he, of course, learned kung-fu – and now Brice has returned to the States to get a little revenge. The voluptuous blonde is part of his vengeance scheme, being as she is the secretary (and of course mistress) of the evil baron. 

This is the rare men’s mag story that also makes reference to the more liberal times; one of Brice’s associates is a former ‘Nam pilot who now does marijuana runs across the border, but has had to stop due to the recent crackdown. This is relayed bluntly, with no condemnation or anything. Now that I think of it, how I wish there was a men’s mag story about dope-running pilots. Hell, maybe there is – Bob Deis would know. Anyway, the kung-fu stuff only factors in the frequent action scenes, with Brice insisting “no guns” and using only hands and feet during the heist of the baron’s coffers. But like so many other stories here, the tale ends with a surprise betrayal or two. Overall, this was a great way to round out the issue. 

It came out a few months ago, but Men’s Adventure Quarterly is still available at Amazon, and would make for perfect escapist summer reading. These stories can be brain-rotting, though. This is also TMI, but one day I was at work, and I’d just been reading this issue of MAQ in the morning, and this lovely young coworker happened to walk by my desk, with a tight top showing off her ample charms (which us male coworkers aren’t supposed to notice, of course, I mean the toxic masculinity of it all). No lie, friends, but the phrase “jutting breasts” popped unbidden into my head. Unfortunately, she did not saunter over to my desk to offer her services in whatever heist I might be cooking up.